A contest is under way in Pima County to determine Who Will Be The Next Huckelberry Hound!!!
*(The Huckelberry hound is a liberal journalist who can't hack it in the real world because liberal print media is dying on the vine, so he basically carries Chuck Huckleberry's media water).
The stakes are big this year folks! -- a cush job as a chief propagandist with the crack communications crew for Chuck Huckelberry himself awaits!
Yes, that is right! You too can be a hound for Huckelberry! So far this budget cycle, contestants have submitted brilliant, half-assed investigative entries for the judges' review, like:
Ally Miller Eats Small Children For Breakfast and Kicks Stray Dogs - by the always ferguliscious Joe Ferguson
Connecting The Dots... Ally Miller Finds Jimmy Hoffa But Votes Against World View - by Dylan (where is my comb) Smith.
We also have...
Ally Miller May Be Behind Chem Trails And Global Warming -- by the desperately seeking relevance, Timothy Steller
However, in the lead for Huckelberry's next Hucklberry Hound is the Dean of Pima County propaganda himself, Jim Nintzel with his submission – Ally Miller Shot JR, JFK And Malcolm X At The Same Damn Time!
This budget cycle's winner will receive a superb benefits package that includes: A county funded Prius (complete with regular car washing services), lame Obamacare Pajama Boy Jammies to drink hot chocolate in while typing up their propaganda, and lunch at Rigo's (where the hounds can be seen). This includes trips to Chuck's Mexican hideaway (Where all your schemes can brew!) Plus, whatever perk it takes to keep the propaganda crew ginning out gibberish.
Who will be the next Huckelberry Hound? Stay tuned...
*Results will be announced immediately after the Board of Supervisors approve Chuck's budget, which includes expansion of the Communication Department.
You can't make this stuff up!
On Friday's addition of the James T. Harris Show, a "clean living" vagrant named Phillip (who is very well know to residents in the area) called in to explain why the vagrancy problem is out of control on the North West side of town. He also offered the best solution to the problem that plagues the area!
I felt compelled to dig deeper into Phillips story. It turns out that this vagrant, living in the washes of the Catalina Foothills, has more sense than the public officials that supposedly run the county!
Listen in and be amazed!
Meet Martin Willet. He is the Deputy Chief County Administrator for Pima County and #2 guy to Chuck Huckleberry.
He’s also an avid bike rider who recently took a spill on Tucson’s stellar streets.
According to the lawsuit that he filed AGAINST the county, he was hurt bad, real bad. So much so that his wife’s law firm is suing you and me (the taxpayers of Pima County) for a whopping 6 Million dollars!
(Actually he’s suing for 5 Mill, his wife’s pain and suffering goes for a million.) *Sniff Turns out he healed in time to attend the Governors State of the State address, I’m told he walked to the Pima County table (where he was greeted by The Chuckster himself) without a cane or a wheelchair.
Uh Ohhhhhh... Here I go again!
From The Home Office of The Pima County Supervisors: The top 5 things that MIGHT HAPPEN to you if you Chuck… The Huckleberry.
1) Rattlesnake Bridge will be closed - at rush hour!!
(So what if it's a pedestrian bridge... He'll do it!) 2) Your real estate taxes could go up - by 45%!!
(“I can relate…”) 3) Your whole town will be placed in the FEMA floodplain!!
(Marana? Hello???) 4) 40-years later they'll find your remains in the concrete under Kino Stadium!!
(Crickets...) 5) Your high-density residential subdivision plan will get rejected - unless The King of South Tucson is your consultant!!